SOAL 15
SOAL 47: Count Your Blessings

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Steve Cochran is the host of the hit podcast, Live from My Office. He previously hosted the number one talk show every morning on WGN. Steve also enjoys performing stand-up comedy around the Chicago area. Today, Steve sits down and discusses with us his optimism for the future and the valuable lesson of kindness and humility. Cochran doesn’t shy away from speaking up about the stuff that matters to him. Positivity is a powerful thing and we should all take a minute to pause before responding and simply be a little nicer to one another.

Everybody’s got to find the good things in their life, for your own mental health.

I think a mistake that a lot of leaders make is- it’s not about you. It’s about you making your team better.

Nobody understands better than somebody walking the walk you’re walking.

Social media is an amazing gift. The technology is unbelievable, but it also has such negative power.

You’ll Learn

  • Negative energy is very powerful; always try to stay on the positive side of things.
  • Egoism never works from a management perspective.
  • You never know what someone is walking through, so always choose kindness.

Resources

Transcript

Alicia:
Hello and welcome to Soul of a Leader podcast, where we ignite soul conversation with leaders. On today’s episode, Dr. Alicia and Dr. Eileen sit with Steve Cochran to discuss count your blessings.

Eileen:
On today’s episode, we have Steve Cochran. He’s the host of the hit podcast Live From My Office. He previously hosted in Chicago, the number one talk show every morning on WGN. Over his career, Steve has performed many different acting roles. But a wonderful role he performed was in Grumpy Old Men with the late Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. The role was crucial. He played the TV weatherman. Steve has performed with Jerry Seinfeld and Jay Leno and even Cher. He continues to headline standup comedy around the Chicago area. Welcome Steve.

Steve:
Well, thank you. That’s very sweet. And you read what I wrote beautifully. I slaved over that for hours.

Alicia:
Oh.

Steve:
It’s so nice to see both of you. Congratulations on the podcast. And I do want to tell you that I was touched by your conversation about prison reform. And I’m sorry, I’ve spaced on the guest’s name, but she was a-

Alicia:
Sunny Schwartz.

Steve:
Sunny Schwartz. And the reason in particular is a good friend of mine named Laura Caldwell, also an attorney, worked for years and years and years with setting up the lives of inmates who were wrongfully convicted. Where they would be turned out and really had nothing but the clothes they came in with and a few bucks. And she helped them establish lives, find jobs and things of that nature. Tragically, she died after a cancer battle this year, but she taught as well. And the kids she taught at Loyola are now picking up the ball and running with it. So guests like yours and my friend, Laura, and these kids at Loyola, they give me hope.

Alicia:
Wow. We’re excited to have you, Steve Cochran, on the show.

Steve:
Thank you. I appreciate it.

Eileen:
Well, and Steve, that’s what a Soul of a Leader is all about-

Alicia:
Yes.

Eileen:
… is doing things with your soul that makes a difference in this world.

Steve:
Yeah. I was talking to somebody the other day about this. I’m 59 now. I know I look much younger. I’ve had a nice career and I’ve been lucky. I’ve done a lot of fun things and met a lot of interesting people. I’ve got a couple of grandkids now. A little girl that’s about to turn five and a little boy that’s about a year and a half. And I want them to have the same chances that we’ve had in the greatest-

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
… country in the world. And now post November 3rd, I feel like there’s light at the end of the tunnel. And there’s-

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
… some hope. So I’m optimistic about it. And most people wouldn’t accuse me of being optimistic about too many things, but I’m very optimistic about our future. And we’ve got to get together, man. We’ve got to start working together. As a matter of fact, I’m in development with another podcast that specifically deals with that being-

Alicia:
Good.

Steve:
… The far right and the far left, that’s not the solution. That’s the problem because the rest of us live in the real world. The rest of us live in the world where we understand we can’t have everything we want, we understand compromise. And we move the ball forward that way. So that’s where my optimism was.

Eileen:
That’s fantastic because, I mean part of our vision is that we’re all connected. Right?

Steve:
Right.

Eileen:
And the soul is energy that is projected from each individual.

Steve:
And negative energy is very powerful and stay on the positive energy side of things. It’s not a perfect equation. It’s not going to happen immediately, but whatever your spiritual side is, I always tell people, I go, whoever your God is, get closer to your God. And believe good and hard in what you believe in. And we’re going to get through COVID, we’re going to get through all this politics nonsense and we’re going to move forward.

Alicia:
Yeah. And I think what’s important that you talk about is that spiritual connection. You need to connect closer to something bigger and higher than you. On our podcast, spiritual leadership is extremely important. So one of my questions I want to talk to you about. How do you help others to become their very best or challenge them to be their best in something that they’re dealing with? Specifically like COVID right now, some of the political issues. how do you challenge others to be their best?

Steve:
I think everybody’s got to find the good things in their life for your own mental health. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for a little while, but you can’t live there. And you got to find a way to really count your blessings. And sometimes that means literally. You haven’t been able to hug your mom or your dad or see your brothers and sisters. And Thanksgiving wasn’t what you expected. Maybe Christmas won’t be. But guess what? Because of brilliant medical minds and because of the greatness in this country, we’ll get next year and how good will next Thanksgiving and next Christmas be?
And we’re never going to look back at us and laugh because there’s nothing about this that’s been funny. And God bless everyone who has lost somebody they loved and all the healthcare workers and frontline workers who put themselves out there every day. It’s something Bill Clinton said actually, back in the nineties that always stuck with me and that is, “There’s nothing wrong with America that can’t be fixed by what’s right with America.” And I still think that lies within us.

Alicia:
Yeah. I think you’re right. All of us here are so glad about moving forward out of 2020 and where we’re going forward with the energy.

 

Steve:
Yeah. You talking about inspiring people or managing and leading people. I think a mistake that a lot of leaders make is it’s not about you. It’s about you making your team better.

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
And when I was a kid, I used to get up in the middle of the night and sneak out and think I was fooling my parents and I’d sit right in front of the giant piece of furniture that was the TV. Because I’d just turn it up loud enough so I could hear it and I’d watch Johnny Carson. It’s a school night. Right? Five nights, four nights a week and I’d go and watch Johnny Carson. Brilliantly, Carson… And this is one of the things I always took from him and used as a performer and still do is have people on your shows or on your team that do great work and you don’t have to worry about the credit. The credit’s going to come back to you. So I’ve worked for too many people who have thought it’s my way or the highway. And there’s never been a recorded instance in human history, whereas my way or the highway works out from a management perspective. It just doesn’t.

Alicia:
One of the things I like about that because I hear people say that oftentimes, I want to be in leadership and it’s my way. Well, it’s not your way. It’s the team’s way. So let’s talk a little bit about, on a day to day from you being on the radio, on your podcast. What are some of the values that you use to kind of really facilitate or implement that thought process of is a team effort? What values do you come into play with?

Steve:
Well, I think there’s a humility to it that maybe I wasn’t always so good at. And that is that what I’ve found is I’m doing jobs now… Starting a podcast is basically like starting a radio station. So for everybody that thinks podcasting is brand new, no I hate to break it to you. It’s radio 2021. And it’s something now where, because we’re a small operation, I’m making the phone calls to book guests. I’m doing the-

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
… thank yous. I’m making sales calls, selling advertising and things like that. And it’s not that I didn’t appreciate those people before, because I did. I always felt like I did a decent job of letting everybody know how much I appreciated whatever they did that helped me be successful. But you sure appreciate it more after you find out how hard their jobs are. So that’s the humility piece of it for me.

Eileen:
Yeah. We are finding that out, too. And that goes back to the idea of where we started this podcast. And Steve, you may not know this, but when you were on WGN, you had called me to participate, or your staff member, in the Most Valuable Person on the Planet. And it’s so ironic because the day of the call, I received a call that evening asking to be on the call, be recorded the next day. And that day was the day where my employer said, oh, we’re restructuring your role.

Steve:
Wow. Wait, I remembered this story.

Eileen:
And so walking home going, okay. Then I get this call from your staff member and she says, oh, this is your one of the Most Valuable Persons on the Planet with Jonny Imerman, who’s been on the podcast.

Steve:
Yep.

Eileen:
He referred me. And I said, is this real? And she goes, yes, it’s real. So we talked about the forgiveness theory and you were so gracious and your whole-

Steve:
Those are those God moments. Right?

Eileen:
Yeah.

Steve:
I mean, those are those things where I’m having a really bad day and what happens, God puts something in front of you and says no you’re not.

Eileen:
Absolutely.

Steve:
One door opens another one… One closes, another opens, all those cliches. They all turn out to be true. But you gotta be open enough to see them when they come down the path toward you.

Eileen:
Yeah. I was so gracious. And then afterwards I took a walk and I prayed and said, wow, that was so positive. He’s doing such positive work sharing good messages out in the world. The next day I said [inaudible 00:10:14] and who did I text first, but my good friend here, who’s the cohost.

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
What I was going to say is, this is the thing that I drive my wife most crazy over is I end up interviewing everybody. Because it’s hard. It’s an instinct. Right?

Alicia:
Yeah.

Steve:
When you’ve done it forever. So I was going to ask you how you two met? Have you know each other forever?

Alicia:
Oh, forever. So she sent this text me and said, do you want to do a podcast? Well, she said, no, I have an idea. And I’m like, okay, sure. I just say yes. So I had to wait a couple of days. I’m like, well, what is this idea she had? So she said podcast. I said, I’m in. And this was over a year ago, the September of last year when she did that. But we have known each other since grad school at Loyola University. Over twenty years.

Eileen:
Yeah. Over twenty years. That was in the mid nineties.

Alicia:
Yes.

Eileen:
And what was neat is we were both in graduate school together and we took classes and Alicia would drop me off on our way home after class at 9:30 at night. We were both working full time.

Alicia:
Yes.

Eileen:
All our education is full time. And yeah, even our PhDs, we went to night school and I finished mine first. And then I called her up and said, okay, if I can do it, you can do it.

Alicia:
Yes.

Eileen:
And so she went through it. We’ve been buds for, yeah, the mid nineties.

Alicia:
Yeah.

Eileen:
Yeah, it’s great.

Steve:
The power of your best friends. Right? To always have somebody you can pick up the phone and call or talk to. You mentioned Imerman’s Angels. Have you guys talked about how important that organization is?

Alicia:
Oh yeah.

Eileen:
Oh yeah. Well, we also published a book from a recording. It’s called Soul of the Leader Echoes. And we put Jonny’s episode, but modified it on how important Imerman’s Angels is. Also his other business, he has called Cloztalk, which really puts a light on non-profits, including their logo on clothes.

Steve:
Yeah. The thing that impresses me when organizations find a niche that hasn’t been filled before. And I lost a couple of friends to suicide and in losing a couple friends to suicide, what’s the reaction that most people have. It’s like well, how could they? And one in particular is a woman who suffered just horribly from bipolar disorder. This was just a gorgeous girl who at thirty, took her own life because she just couldn’t walk that path anymore. And I was asked to do the eulogy at her service. And I just remember vividly having no idea how I’d get through it because she meant a lot to me. I mean, she was a very special person and she was the type of woman, she would walk into the room and every male and female would look at her because she just had that thing about her.
But beyond the physical side, she was also a terrific writer for Chicago Magazine. And the cruelty of bipolar disorder of course, is that you have these unbelievable highs that cause you to do things you wouldn’t normally do, but the lows are so painful that you literally physically can’t move. So it’s a tragic story that has as much of a happy ending as it could. Because what she wanted to do for her 30th birthday, was to have a huge blowout party so the people would understand a little bit more about the message because the thing, the legacy. And name’s Rebecca Cutler. And the thing Rebecca wanted was for people to understand that you don’t snap out of mental illness. You don’t walk it off. You don’t get over it. You don’t have somebody tell you, oh, you have so much to be happy about, why are you sad all the time. It doesn’t work that way. It’s as serious as cancer and heart disease-

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
… and everything else. And we’re getting closer to treating it that way. But part of the reason are groups like Rebecca’s group. Her mom and dad to all their credit and her brother put together something called Rebecca’s Dream. And it goes to what Imerman’s Angels does. It goes to what they do at Gilda’s Club.

Alicia:
Oh yes.

Steve:
Nobody understands better than somebody walking the walk you’re walking. It’s a foundation of AA. It’s all of that.

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
You can’t love somebody hard enough to fix them when they’re broken physically or emotionally. And that’s why I love what they do at Imerman’s Angels, what they do at Gilda’s and what they do at Rebecca’s Dream. Because somebody has bipolar disorder, I can talk to them about how man, I’m sorry, you’re going through this, but I can’t talk to them about those dark days and how to get through them. So I just think there’s a lot of power there and Soul of a Leader. I mean, that’s it right there. Right? To understand your weaknesses and to help people find people who can help get them what they need.

Alicia:
Yeah. You’re so true about what you said. It’s so hard to kind of be there to help a person, because like to say you don’t understand the dark moments. And so part of what we have to do as humans and as your leader, soulful leader, is you try to do your best in the high times of that person’s life, to instill some positivity in their lives. But one of the questions I had in my mind as I was listening to you. How do you have the courage to say what needs to be said? Sometimes being on radio or on podcasts, people think it’s fairly easy. But what do you do to have the courage to say what needs to be said?

Steve:
I think, it’s repetition, like anything that you supposedly become good at in life. It’s reps. You do it again and again and again. And as your life changes and you get older things that are important may change. But I grew up in a very dysfunctional household and had a pretty rough childhood and like millions and millions and millions of other people. And I think you get to a point there’s a crossroads and that crossroads is okay, where are you going to do with it? Are you going to take that forward and put that on your loved ones, your wife, your kids, whomever? Or are you going to try to make things better? So that’s always been my inspiration to try to do the right thing to say, I’m sorry when I don’t. But also not to shy away from speaking up about stuff that matters to me.
And it’s funny because at 59, I’ve done this for a long time. I’ve never felt it was more important. And in a lot of ways, I feel like I’m better at it than I’ve ever been, because I tell the truth about things that I’ve done my homework on. And look, this is not a political show and I wouldn’t want you to take it down that road, but it’s no secret how I felt about Donald Trump and how I feel about Donald Trump. And I met him initially back in the eighties. He’s the same guy now, as he was then. He was a terrible choice for president and that’s unfortunately proven to be true on every level. And I think you have to have somebody that’s willing to go, okay, 40% of the audience is going to hate you, but you’ve got to tell the truth and I’ve been doing it for four years and I’ve taken a lot of grief for it, but I wouldn’t change any of it.

Eileen:
Well, and that goes along with being part of Soul of a Leader, like is SAS. Spiritual, authentic and servant leadership.

Steve:
I like that.

Eileen:
And being authentic in your voice-

Alicia:
Yes.

Eileen:
… in your values and alignment with respect of other people and non-judgment is what life’s about. If you can’t walk down the street and be your true and best self, you’re struggling as an individual because you’re either hiding or becoming someone else. So thank you for sharing that because it means so much for being a Soul of a Leader. Right? Is the authenticity.

Alicia:
Yeah. I mean, being authentic as a leader is so extremely important. Oftentimes people are being led by individuals who are not authentic. And so what happens to the person that’s following that leader that’s not authentic? Well then the whole ideal of trying to be a better leader, they don’t understand that because they have someone that’s leading them that’s not authentic and they approach it.

Steve:
But see that scares me too about social media.

Alicia:
Oh yes.

Steve:
Social media is an amazing gift. The technology is unbelievable, but it also has such negative power.

Alicia:
Yes.

Steve:
That old saying that everybody’s entitled to their opinion. Yeah. But you’re not entitled to your own facts. And you’re also not entitled to stop reading and start believing the first thing you agree with. And there’s so much poison out there that I don’t know how to get the genie back in the bottle, but social media, it’s a scary thing. And it’s going to have to be dealt with. It will be dealt with through regulation and various things. But there’s so much personal responsibility that has to come with it. We used to do a thing on the radio on GN called don’t hit send. And don’t hit send meant before you send that tweet that you’re going to regret tomorrow, or you send that text that you’re annoyed or mad about now that you’re going to… Don’t hit send. Read it again. Have somebody else read it for you, whatever the case may be. Because for all the good that Facebook and Instagram and even Twitter do, man, there’s a lot of ugly out there.

Eileen:
Yeah. And you know, there was a quote I recently read, I can’t remember where, but it says “you can’t heal in a toxic environment.” Right?

Steve:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Eileen:
So we really have to watch that. And there’s another thing that I say, because I hit up HR in companies, don’t send anything or say anything that your mother, the media, your mentor, or your maker would not want you to say or put in front. You are so right because people react so quickly in judge and social media, like in COVID, this right here, doing Zooms, podcasts. Seeing people that’s wonderful, especially when we’re so not connected, but there’s a balance we have to get back to the good versus the negative.

Steve:
It’s going to be so… How weird is it going to be, when we all get to go outside and do what we want again?

Alicia:
Oh, it’s going to be very weird. It’s going to be like, oh, do I have to have this mask on anymore? Oh no. Yeah.

Steve:
Right?

Alicia:
It’s going to be very weird. I just can’t even imagine it.

Steve:
I was thinking today that I come from a family of huggers. And how much of you miss that? Just being able to hug folks that you care about when you see them and stuff. I’m tired of knuckles and elbows. I’m done with it.

Alicia:
Or if you sneeze and somebody turned around look. Well, you know.

Steve:
Uh-huh (affirmative). Yeah. Sorry.

Alicia:
Yeah. It’s like, you can’t even sneeze now or cough. Yeah. We had such a great time with you, but as we get ready to end, what are some words of wisdom that you would like to leave with the listeners?

Steve:
I’d just say you’ve got to be kind. There’s was book out many, many years ago called Everything I need to Know I learned in Kindergarten or something close to that. And everything in that book has proven to be true. You can’t take other people’s things. You can’t break other people’s things. You need to put stuff back where you found it. You need to say, thank you. You need to say, I’m sorry. You need to say, please. And those sound like little things, but those umbrellas of each one of those phrases go to every aspect of our life.
And as we turn from 2020 to 2021, if we can all just be a little bit nice. Sounds hokey. I’m sorry if it does. Sounds hokey, but I truly believe this. If we could all be a little nicer to each other and I’ll understand that whatever shoes that that person walked in today, you didn’t walk in those shoes and you don’t know what they’ve been through. It doesn’t mean they get to be rude or mean or disrespectful, but if we all take a breath before we send the wrong tweet or the wrong post, before we say the wrong thing, I think we’re better off. I think it’d be a better world.

Alicia:
Love it.

Eileen:
Love those words of wisdom.

Alicia:
Yes.

Eileen:
Thank you so much, Steve, for being here.

Steve:
Well, thanks for having me on. I wish you guys nothing but success with this. I think it’s great.

Alicia:
We are so privy of your time.

Eileen:
And same with your podcast. We wish you success with yours.

Steve:
I appreciate it. Live from my office which is where I am right now.

Eileen:
Thank you for joining us on Soul of a Leader podcast. We are igniting a new way of leading with your soul and interviewing ordinary people with extraordinary impact. Thank you for listening to the stories of our leaders who will help and guide you on your leadership journey. For more information on our podcasts, please visit our website at www.soulofaleader.com. Thank you for listening.

 

With Dr. Eileen & Dr. Alicia

Conversations with ordinary people, with extraordinary impact on strategies, success stories, spirituality and leadership.

With Dr. Eileen & Dr. Alicia

Conversations with ordinary people, with extraordinary impact on strategies, success stories, spirituality and leadership.