SOAL 15
SOAL 40: Winning as a Team

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Growing up in a single-parent home, Dickey Simpkins credits his mother for his strong work ethic and leadership skills. His mother set the ultimate example of what it means to persevere through adversity, have confidence and lead with ambition and passion. Dickey is now raising his own beautiful family with the same conviction, love, and drive that his mother instilled in him. Simpkins is a three-time NBA champion, a development expert, a national public speaker, and a successful businessman. In life, you will have to make tough decisions as a leader and you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day.

Another big thing that’s missing in leadership today is, people, do not like to attack difficult conversations.

My actions were the first thing that spoke to what level of leadership, independence, and confidence I had, and the individual that I am, and that I demand a follower.

Be respected and at the end of the day, people are going to like you, people are not going to like you, but the one thing is they’re going to walk away respecting you.

The first thing I do to get people to do their best is to show them that even though I’m the leader, there’s no job beneath me because I’ve done these jobs.

We win as a team, you’re going to win as an individual.

You’ll Learn

  • Hold yourself accountable as a leader, no excuses.
  • True leadership means persevering through adversity.
  • A respected leader’s actions will always match up with their words.
  • Be prepared for the unexpected because it always comes.

Resources

Transcript

Eileen:

Hello and welcome to the Soul of a Leader podcast where we ignite soulful conversations with leaders. In today’s episode, Dr. Alicia and Dr. Eileen sit with Dickey Simpkins to discuss winning as a team.

 

Alicia:

Welcome to the Soul of a Leader podcast. In today’s episode, we have three-time NBA champion, Dickey Simpkins. He is a Fox Sports TV analyst. He’s an NBA scout for the Washington Wizard who teaches basketball skills, a development expert, a national public speaker, and a successful businessman. Also, Dickey Simpkins was selected by the Chicago Bulls in the first round, the 21st overall of the 1994 NBA draft, and he went on to play seven seasons, 1994 to 2001, for the storied franchise. Simpkins was part of the second-winningest team in NBA history, which posted a 72-10 record during the 1995-96 season. Welcome, Dickey Simpkins to the Soul of a Leader podcast. And I must say, I didn’t even really put a dent in your bio. So…

 

Dickey:

No, it’s a pleasure to be on the podcast. I appreciate you bringing me on. I was looking forward to it and this should be fun. Everything you said, you hit on a lot of things, and yes there are more things that have gone on in my life and added to my resume and added to my journey, but I’m sure I’ll be able to touch on some of those things as we’re going through the podcast. But you can’t forget about being a part of three NBA championships. So I always have to make sure that’s noted.

 

Alicia:

Oh yeah.

 

Dickey:

But that was an excellent intro and I appreciate that. All we needed was the Chicago Bulls theme.

 

Alicia:

Oh no, right.

 

Eileen:

Yes, we did. That’s a great idea for the intro, well, I know. So thank you. So, Alicia shared it and we’re going to talk about your journey, some stories, where you’re at today and how that labyrinth or the path from where you were, from when you grew up to how you became a three-time champ, to how you became a businessman, to how you became a sports analysts, to an entrepreneurial too.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Eileen:

Because these are obvious. This journey that I saw when we reached out to you. So if you could, share with us what ignited all this as you started your journey in life and how you grew from that.

 

Dickey:

Yeah, it’s pretty simple for me. Everything was ignited based on my foundation of growing up in a single-parent home with my mother. My mother was my idol and everything that I do now, everything that I’ve experienced has been because I’ve been open-minded. I’ve had cultural experiences and journeys that kept me open-minded and willing to explore and try to grow and develop and build. And that all comes from the foundation of growing up with my mother. And my mother taught me all these things. She put me into cultural settings so I could have a wide range of experience. She was high on education and presentation and how I carried myself and being a gentleman and taking care of my academics. And she always instilled in me to be a man of my word and whatever I say I’m going to do, do it.

 

Dickey:

And she just taught me to just always be a leader and be confident and be independent. And all those things in the bowl or in the mix of cement for my foundation basically was the part that I just grew from and just built block for block from them. And that is how I’ve been able to experience all the things that I’ve experienced, do all the things that I’ve done, sacrifice and work, and was able to achieve and succeed in some opportunities in life. And that’s pretty much how it all happened.

 

Alicia:

So one of the key things I like about you talking about your mom, and she obviously was a significant figure in your life, a role model, someone you were just loved by, talk a little bit more about how her leadership and love for you and how you’ve transferred that over to your kids. You have beautiful kids, you and I had a conversation the other day, and I’m so happy for you and I love to hear how, what you were taught by your mom because she’s the first woman in your life that instilled all those qualities, but you somehow have done the same thing to your kids. So talk a little bit more about that, transferring those leadership skills to your kids.

 

Dickey:

Well, I’m a big person on, I learn faster by visual. And so watching my mother operate as a single mom was amazing. And I was very observant and she was consistent.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

And I always say consistency, the repetitions that build. And I laugh about it now with my wife, when we talk about how back then a lot of things that she did with me or put me in as far as organizations, events, culturally, whatever. As a kid, you don’t really understand, you kind of frown at it, but I laugh about it now, on how she had a vision for the long game, for the big picture, and she just kept instilling in me, with the repetitions and the consistency. But basically, I picked up the leadership traits of my mother being a single mom, raising two boys, and those traits were just real simple. Sacrifice was a trait or quality, how much she sacrificed and I watched it, accountability, which meant no excuses, I watched that, I watched the ability to persevere through adversity, don’t let anything stop you, don’t let anything that’s in your way or things that have slowed you down stop you and make you quit.

 

Dickey:

So, as I watched that quality, I watched the quality of detail. She was a very detailed oriented person. For mom, that was in the educational field you can only imagine. Academics, and what comes with academics is the detail, close your T’s, dot your I’s, and those commas and apostrophes better be in the right font.

 

Alicia:

Absolutely.

 

Dickey:

You better proof-read two, three, four times, but the detail was very important. And that was always something that I observed consistently with her. And then another quality and trait was just presentation. Your presentation was important, especially back then, me growing up in the early seventies, the presentation was important. Hold your head up high, stand alert, carry yourself like a young man, speak with confidence, don’t mix your words, all those things are different qualities, and then just ultimately her work ethic. I mean, she just had an unbelievable work ethic and ambition and passion for whatever it took to get the job done. So those were all the qualities and traits that I observed from my mother on a consistent basis. And it’s funny because as I would go around, as my basketball career started growing from high school, college, to NBA, people always asked who my role model was. And I told them my role model was my mother.

 

Alicia:

Right.

 

Dickey:

I watched it first hand.

 

Alicia:

Absolutely.

 

Dickey:

And I was fortunate enough that she carried a family on her back and she instilled in me and built a strong foundation for me to grow off of. Again, you’re going to hear me say throughout this time that we talk, the consistent repetition in the detail just hit it on. It just hit it on because of the consistency and the repetition, which just instills everything in yourself. And I was fortunate enough to be blessed with being an observant young man, picking up things real quick, and being able to analyze and evaluate at a pretty good level for a young age. And I was more mature for my age because I was always around adults. Because my brother was nine years older than me, so I kind of grew up as almost like the only child because he was gone already ahead of me in school and things of that nature. So I hadn’t had an old soul and was very mature

 

Eileen:

As I listen to all those wonderful attributes, there’s one thing that… of course, a mother’s love can never be replaced, I mean, but it’s about believing in yourself, your mom believed in you and made you continue on this journey. As Alicia… All those things are aligned with how you raise your own children. How do you use those attributes in your starting a business, or your work, or how you are changing lives now with what you do?

 

Dickey:

Well, I think the first thing is for me, like my mother did, with my family, with my kids, with my business, with any teams that I’ve been the captain of the team, even teams that I haven’t been the captain of the team, it all started with my actions. My actions were the first thing that spoke to what level of leadership, independence, and confidence I had, and the individual that I am, and that I demand a follower.

 

Dickey:

So my actions were the first thing that spoke, right? Because that’s what people see. When they first see you, they see your presentation, they see your actions, they see how you move. And then my words match my actions and I’ve always been taught and I carry this with every level of anything that I am a leader for or show them my leadership skill set is, at the end of the day, you have to make a decision on if you want to be respected or you want to be liked, and if you want to be respected, then that is a whole level of… You’re going to have to be able to deal with when people don’t like certain things, but they have to respect it.

 

Dickey:

Now, if they end up liking you also, that’s just a plus. But at the end of the day, they’re going to walk away and I have to respect you with your leadership skills and the decisions that you’ve made. If you want to go about leadership wanting to be liked which is a lot of what the new generation, and I’m not just going to put it on a new generation, is just kind of where we are now, right? Everybody’s looking for likes on their social media, correct?

 

Eileen:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

If you want to be liked, that is a tough route to go with trying to be a leader and wanting to be liked as a leader, because you’re probably going to struggle when people don’t like you.

 

Eileen:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

You’re probably not going to know how to handle it. Your insecurities are probably going to show at an even higher level. We all have insecurities, but if you want to be respected, your insecurities are going to be pretty much tamed or controlled, or you’re going to be able to have them in check, because this is all about walking away with the ultimate leadership abilities and decisions that’s for everybody that you’re leading, whether it’s a team, whether it’s a business, whatever it might be. So that’s the next thing. I go from my actions to my words and the decision that I want to be respected because that’s what my mother always taught me. Be respected and at the end of the day, people going to like you, people are not going to like you, but the one thing is they’re going to walk away respecting you.

 

Dickey:

And then, again, like I was saying earlier, she always taught me to be a man of my word. So what I say I’m going to do, and it’s going to match up again to my actions, and I’m going to always make sure when you walk away from me, you’re going to know where I stand. You’re never going to walk away from me and be confused. Think I’m riding a fence, you don’t know what side of the fence I’m on. You’re going to know what side I stand on. And it doesn’t matter, you may not like that, but you’re going to know. You’re never going to be confused and I think that is one of the big things that I always tell my kids, tell my coaches in my program, whoever I’m interacting with, is never walk away where people don’t know where you stand or people are confused or send mixed messages. And I think a lot of that goes on today.

 

Dickey:

And then the last two things that I try to relate to my kids and teach them, I give them scenarios and I think a part of leadership skill is you always have to forecast. Part of being a leader you have to be able to assess and evaluate, right?

 

Eileen:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

And then you have to be able to forecast, be able to predict and see different things that could happen. Because I tell my son all the time, expect the unexpected. Be prepared for the unexpected because it always comes. And then in-between assessing and forecasting, you have to be able to direct, and guide, and lead people with motivation so their passion can want to maximize their efforts for whatever the goal is. And so, those are the things that I always preach to my kids or preach to whoever I’m leading or whatever environment I’m in. And those are just big things for me, and I see those things lacking in today’s leadership.

 

Dickey:

Like I come across a lot of different leadership people who… and I say to myself, they have a leadership role, but they’re lacking these fundamental pieces of being a leader. It doesn’t matter what you’re leading, you could be leading a little league team or you could be leading a fortune 500 company. I really believe that there are some fundamental pieces of being a leader, and being an effective leader. So those are the kind of things that I move on in my leadership roles.

 

Alicia:

You said a whole lot in that and I was trying to take notes. But it’s so key about the fundamentals, about being a leader. People can call themselves a leader, you can be in a leadership role, but if you’re missing as you said, those fundamentals of being an effective leader, there comes problems with that. And so, my question to you is, how do you challenge other people around you to be their best? And I know that you’re leading… you have teams, and you have your own business, and you keynote speaker at times, how do you challenge others to be their best?

 

Dickey:

Well, the first thing I do is, and I do this with everything and I’ll give you examples, I show everybody that I don’t operate… even though I’m the leader, there’s no job that I’m better than in this journey. So when I was playing in college and I was the captain of our basketball team, and I did what I was supposed to do, so I didn’t have to run more laps, but there were other guys that had to run laps, I ran laps with them. So they saw that I would get there and grind it out with them. When I’m with my basketball program and we were on the road with the kids traveling in the tournament, there’s laundry to be done, the players see the guy who runs the program doing all laundry late at night. There’s no job that’s beneath me. And when I’m with my kids and my family, if there’s something to be done, the trash to be taken out, they always come into me about a bug, “We need you to kill this bug.” [crosstalk 00:19:46].

 

Dickey:

The point that I’m making is, the first thing I do to get people to do their best is show them that even though I’m the leader, there’s no job beneath me because I’ve done these jobs. And so, that makes them now see that, and they know they can’t make any excuses or they can’t have do stuff because now if I can do it and I’m the leader, there’s no reason why you can’t do it. So that’s the first one to do that I do. The second thing that I do is, to get people to do their best, I try to make sure they understand their role because I want them to understand their role, I want them to accept their role. I want them to understand their role because then they’ll be a star in their role.

 

Dickey:

And in order for me to get them to be a star in their role, and I understand and accept it is, that they have to know that if they do this role to the best they can move and achieve other roles. So that keeps them motivated. Because I think a lot of times when people are at jobs, they get frustrated because they’re at a stagnant point, they see no progression, nobody’s helping them to progress or teach them how to progress. So I try to get people to accept their role, understand their role, and be a star in their role.

 

Dickey:

And then the last thing I do to motivate them or get them to work their best is, I get them to understand what the reward is if we all do what we are supposed to do and if they do their job, what the reward is at the end of the day. My leadership skills all are predominantly based on how I went about sports, and I carry that over to everything. So at the end of the day, with those three components of how I get people to maximize their effort, motivate them… And at the end of the day, I have this saying that I say all the time, I say it to my family, my kids, I say it to my program, I said it to the teams that I’ve been captains for, I always finish up and say, “We win as a team, you’re going to win as an individual.”

 

Dickey:

And I said, “Listen, let me give you an example, a plan with the Chicago Bulls.” The Chicago Bulls were Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen. Those are the Marty guys of the team obviously. MJ is the GOAT. But at the end of the day I understood my role, I accepted my role, and I’m ready to show I tried to start my role because I knew what the ultimate goal was.

 

Alicia:

Yeah, right.

 

Dickey:

And when we won as a team, I won as an individual because I still reap rewards for being on that winning team down 20 years later and continuously. So I always finish off with that and tell you if we win as a team, you will win as an individual, but if you try to win as an individual, it’s not going to turn out well.

 

Eileen:

That’s wonderful.

 

Alicia:

Yeah.

 

Eileen:

What you just said, it’s very logical, it’s simple.

 

Alicia:

Yeah.

 

Eileen:

But it’s very hard to do. When you’re on a team and Alicia has been on a team, I’ve been on leadership teams, we’ve all been on boards, teams, and stuff, and you know who’s trying to be the individual more than the team player.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Eileen:

Have you had that experience and how did you try to, maybe, coach the person for that?

 

Dickey:

Yes, I’ve had that experience with everything. And you have it with your kids, they want to be individuals. I’ve had it with teams that I’ve played on and I’ve been captain, I’ve even had it in my company. And what I do is, I always like to say, I like to do Jedi Mind Tricks. I’m big on the mental. And so, what I try to do is, I try to create an environment where you make the person who is moving as an individual see that they’re letting the team down.

 

Alicia:

Oh, wow.

 

Dickey:

And I try to have the team around when this conversation is going on or when it’s a perfect time or when I have to force the time to have this conversation as a team because I feel like that person that’s trying to be an individual if they’re sitting down in a group setting, and now I’m speaking to you with the compassion of understanding how you’re trying to achieve your own individual tasks, goals, or whatever, but you’re letting down the people in this room, your brotherhood, your sisterhood right here, and those people are looking at them, and then people start feeling comfortable and speaking up, that usually has a 97% success rate for me where that person starts to see and feel a certain way. So I try to approach it from a mental standpoint, Jedi Mind Trick standpoint and attack them emotionally. I don’t mean attack in a vicious way, but approach it so it’ll touch their emotions. If they have a few emotions, they should touch their emotions.

 

Alicia:

Yeah.

 

Dickey:

Now, I guess the question would be ninety percent. So the answer percentage [inaudible 00:25:43].

 

Alicia:

Right.

 

Dickey:

And at the end of the day, being a leader, you have to make tough decisions. And when the individual doesn’t buy-in, then that’s when you have to transition that individual out of the situation which is difficult.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

But that’s the part of being a leader. And that’s another thing that I struggle with when I see people in different leadership positions out here. Another big thing that’s missing in leadership today is, people do not like to attack difficult conversations.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

The difficult decision… Everybody wants the leadership title, the leadership salary, the leadership perks, the leadership recognition, but when it comes to tackling difficult conversations when it comes to tackling issues or problems that arise, they either avoid them, they let them linger where they manifest even bigger, or they try to do it through a text or an email. And I think all those things are, we use this terminology in basketball where we call it fake hustle, where you like diving for the loose ball when the ball is already out of bounds, and your teammates or whoever you’re leading will see that. And they’ll see through you, and that’s the worst thing you can happen when you’re leading something.

 

Alicia:

You are so dead-on on that. Dr. Eileen and I we’ve been in leadership roles. And for me being an [inaudible 00:27:19] against drugs and you were a member there with the organization, do great for us. And it was so many times I like what you used that transitioned them out. And it is those tough moments and that 10%, your 90% get you, and you got that 10% you have to deal with, and I think that is your pivotal moment as a leader when you know how to deal with challenges or you transition a person out. And it’s tough sometimes, but that comes with the job or the role of leadership. And so, we’ve been talking and it’s been great, and you have so many wonderful words you have talked about in this conversation. What are some words of wisdom that you would like to leave with our listeners?

 

Dickey:

Two or three quick words of wisdom, I guess you can call it. One is, you never know what people are going through no matter what they present, no matter what it looks like. So your approach has to have a level of compassion, understanding, empathy, whatever word you want to use, and then you maneuver from there. That’s one thing that I would say when it pertains to your leadership skills and assessing people that you’re leading because everybody has to be… Most [inaudible 00:28:33] have different styles that you have to use to leading people. So you never know what people are going through.

 

Dickey:

My other words of wisdom would be, don’t be that person that takes the mirrors off the walls in their house and walks fast by the mirrors and runs by the mirrors and can’t look in the mirror, and I say that to my kids all the time, and I say that to the kids in my program. Don’t be the person who takes them and you walk in their house, they don’t have any mirrors, or you want to take in the mirrors off your wall. You’re trying to the creek by the mirrors real fast, because at the end of the day, being a leader, making decisions and tough decisions, and looking for that respect, you have to be able to live with how you move as a leader and count on you’re doing it for the ultimate goal of the team and be able to look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day.

 

Dickey:

And that applies to the leadership thought process. And I guess my last little words of wisdom would be, as you lead people to understand that they’re on their journey up the ladder, at one point in time, you were on your journey up the ladder. And so, approach them, teach them, guide them, mold them, develop them, understanding that. And that basically means to have patience because everybody is not the same level that you are. And you have to have the patience because if you don’t, everybody that is… Understanding that everybody is on their journey up the ladder, there are also times when you’re going to be on your journey down the ladder and you will, at one point in time, be crossing paths with somebody going down the ladder as they’re going up the ladder and you want them to have that same patience with you. So those would be my words of wisdom that I guess hopefully can reach and touch people as they’re continuing to grow or be in leadership settings.

 

Alicia:

Outstanding.

 

Eileen:

Absolutely wonderful.

 

Alicia:

Yeah.

 

Eileen:

Thank you so much for sharing those words of wisdom. It’s so grateful, and it’s so right on.

 

Alicia:

It’s dead-on. I mean, I like that, don’t take all the mirrors down on your house, don’t run past some facts. It just stops and look in the mirror and see yourself in that mirror. And will you be able to deal with whatever it is for the decisions you make as a leader? I love it. I go by all my mirrors, Dickey.

 

Dickey:

That’s good.

 

Alicia:

Maybe I’m a little too long but…

 

Dickey:

Next time have a budget of new mirrors over.

 

Alicia:

No, right.

 

Dickey:

You don’t be like, “Oh, “

 

Alicia:

Yes. I mean that is a very good analogy.

 

Dickey:

Yeah.

 

Eileen:

It really is. It’s living with your core.

 

Alicia:

Yeah.

 

Eileen:

It’s living with your core when you’re using that mirror.

 

Alicia:

Yeah. And I know exactly what you mean. Some people just can’t see themselves in the mirror, because like you said, Dr. Eileen that core. It’s that internal part. And Dickey, as you’ve been saying and talking, it’s that mental thing that you address with people that is important.

 

Dickey:

Yeah.

 

Alicia:

That communication style that you do, that verbal, you know the impact of that, because guess what, that was taught to you by your mother. And so, you understood back then and now the impact of that communication. And so, that’s how you deal with that in your leadership style. And so, to use that analogy, you have to interact with so many young people in your programs or in business professionals, whether it’s ballplayers, professional business people, it’s that mirror. That’s a hard one.

 

Dickey:

Yeah, that’s a hard one. I mean, I tell the kids in my program. At first, they don’t get it and I break it down to them, but that’s a hard one. And like you said, in our lives, especially in your leadership, you deal with so many different personalities.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

And you have to be able to assess and have a finesse. Sometimes you have to finesse, sometimes you have to be a little bit more firm, but you have to be able to assess the personalities that you’re leading so you can be effective in getting them to maximize their potential and grow. I don’t mean to go too long, but I had a couple of stories like one, I was in college and I wanted to transfer schools during my sophomore year. And we had a game and I was mad and I called my mother. Back then you had to go to the payphone, I called my mother [crosstalk 00:34:22]. I told my mother, “I’m gone, I’m transferring, I’m out, I’m leaving.” And so, this goes to the foundation she built me on, to never… The foundation she started me on, what smacked me in the face at this moment.

 

Alicia:

Wow.

 

Dickey:

And it was one of those moments you had to look yourself in the mirror. So I have this conversation with her and it’s like 10 o’clock at night, we’re about to get on a bus drive back to Providence. We were playing in New York and my mother says, “I’m not there with you, I’m not going through the stuff that you’re going through, and I can only imagine how difficult it is.” And then she said, “Why don’t you just be able to calm down and process and we’ll talk in the morning.” So I was like, “No, I’m gone. I’m done. It’s over with. I’m getting ready to transfer.”

 

Dickey:

So we get back asleep, the next morning she calls me. She says to me again, “I’m not going through what you’re going through and I know it’s difficult and I can only imagine how hard. But what I will tell you is, if you run from your problems now, you’re going to run from your problems for the rest of your life.” So when she said that to me, because of the way she built the foundation, and groomed me, and taught me, that basically was a challenge to my inner self like go look in the mirror. That was a challenge for me.

 

Alicia:

Wow.

 

Dickey:

And I grew up kind of old school where you had to be tough, don’t show weakness. And so, when she [inaudible 00:36:02], I was like, “Mom is like really challenged [inaudible 00:36:05].” So I had to process that and ultimately I decided to stay, not knowing how it was going to turn out. And she told me that. She said, “If you end up staying, it would help you build on your ability to deal with adversity. It will build your character.” And she said, “I can’t promise you that it’s going to be better, but you’ll be able to deal with anything that you get hit within life.” And so, I ended up staying at Providence College and obviously, it got a little bit better, but I figured out how to get through it the way that helped me get to my goals and I made it to the NBA.

 

Dickey:

So that was just a big moment. And then the other big moment while I was in college because I was a captain of the team, we were playing, we were on a winning streak for a while. We have won like 11 games straight and the whole time we were winning, it was helping our coach start to be courted for other jobs.

 

Alicia:

Wow.

 

Dickey:

And I was a senior, but we had some guys that still were younger and had more time. And I knew this was the part I’d talk about, forecast. I knew that the younger guys were thinking about what’s going to happen. Is the coach going to leave? What are we going to do? We came here for the coach. And so, I had to assess that, that in their mind could potentially derail us from winning the Big East championship. We will get ready to go play in the Big East Tournament. So I called a team meeting and I said, “Look, so the coach is gone. I’m going to just eat, I’m going to let everybody know the coach is gone. The coach is going to go where the money is going to be. So I’m telling you that so you don’t even have to think about whether he’s going to be here or not.” And I didn’t know if he was leaving or not, but just conventional wisdom says, we help them increase value, so he’s going to go where there’s more money.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

So I said to everybody, “Coach is gone, but this is what I’ll tell you if you guys are thinking about whether the coach is going to be here and now I just told you he’s gone and that’s going to affect you when we go down here to play on his tournament and we don’t have success and win, it’s going to be difficult for you guys to make maneuvers, whether you want to go to another school, whether you want to stay here with the new coach that comes in, it’s going to affect that, but if you guys take it upon yourself or what I just told you about the coach is leaving and put a chip on your shoulder and we go down here like we’ve been doing with the goal of winning, other schools are going to want winners. They’re going to want to know who was on that winning team. We’re going to want that kind of player. And now you guys will have an unbelievable opportunity because the new coach will want to keep you guys because you just won and other schools will want you because you just won.

 

Dickey:

And so, I had this like a rocky moment. All I could think about play music if I had. We go down to New York to Madison Square Garden and we win the Big East Tournament.

 

Eileen:

Wow.

 

Alicia:

Wow.

 

Eileen:

It’s focused on a different perspective.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

Six guys of the team ended up making it to the NBA.

 

Alicia:

Wow.

 

Eileen:

Wow.

 

Dickey:

Yeah.

 

Eileen:

Great insight.

 

Alicia:

Great perspective.

 

Eileen:

Keeping the team together.

 

Alicia:

Yes. And you stay there and look at what… As you said, it got better, but then it gets 100% better but looks at what came out of all of that.

 

Dickey:

It definitely built me… When I first met my wife and then went to Europe to play, I played in Russia and the family can, but I would always tell my wife, “What I went through in college for four years, there will never be anything to be tougher than that.” And I didn’t know if it was going to get better, but I figured out how to navigate through.

 

Alicia:

Right.

 

Dickey:

And because of the way my mother built the foundation, I received it. I was open-minded and I support her leadership skills too to be challenged and not being in your feelings and receive what’s coming from somebody and really analyze it. I received it, I took on a challenge and it definitely built more character and built more toughness. And I have to say today, the normal kid today would transfer or change schools. And I’m not saying anything wrong with that because you have to evaluate your own situation, but kids of today and not even just kids in school, but just our whole society right now, I don’t see our level of dealing with adversity and challenges being at a higher level like it was back in the day.

 

Alicia:

Yeah.

 

Dickey:

And that’s just my assessment from my experience.

 

Alicia:

Yeah. But to your point, and I know we’re going to end, Dickey is you said you listened, you went back to assess it, and then you learn how to navigate around it. And to your point, some of the kids, not all of them, when they have adversity at school specifically a lot sometimes with basketball and football because they come in with this, “I want to be the star,” whatever that is, and they forget to sit back and say, “If it’s not going this way, why?”

 

Dickey:

Right.

 

Alicia:

And like, “Let’s figure out and navigate around it.” I mean, everybody has to make their own decision. I mean, obviously, there’s something so bad that’s… a health issue or harm or something that’s different, but you figured out how to navigate and you need to do that as a leader in business.

 

Dickey:

Absolutely. But again, when you asked me at the beginning, it all started because of my mother.

 

Alicia:

Yes.

 

Dickey:

Because if my mother did not instill this and build this foundation, then there’s a high chance I would have probably not received that and say I don’t even want to hear that. But my mother, and I’ve seen it in all types of situations especially with the grassroots, and I’m not blaming it all on the kids, but their support group or the inner circle or the people around them, a lot of times will make excuses for their adversity and for the child, they’ll make excuses and make it because it’s somebody else’s fault. And that does the young grassroots athlete a disservice. My mother never did that. And so, that was one of those moments why she wasn’t making any excuses or coddling me or… She gave it to me in the. Listen, when I was holding that phone, she gave it to me in the real, which she said,” You run now, you’re going to run for the rest of your life.” That was a real talk.

 

Alicia:

And it’s the truth.

 

Dickey:

I just said, “Well, I don’t want to be running for the rest of my life.”

 

Alicia:

Right, who wants to do that.

 

Eileen:

And that was the love she was sharing with you.

 

Alicia:

Yeah.

 

Dickey:

Yeah, that was all love like this.

 

Alicia:

Yeah, because here comes the next problem when you think you ran away from that one, you flee. That next problem is, he always comes around the corner, and then here he comes, damn.

 

Dickey:

Absolutely.

 

Alicia:

Yeah. So this has been great.

 

Eileen:

Thank you.

 

Dickey:

I’ve enjoyed it and I hope that my approach, my mentality where I’ve come from, helps.

 

Alicia:

Oh my gosh, this is amazing. Thank you so much. Yes, very authentic.

 

Dickey:

Appreciate you.

 

Eileen:

Very wonderful, thank you. We’re so grateful.

 

Dickey:

Thank you.

 

Alicia:

So much wonderful insight.

 

Dickey:

Thank you. I’m grateful for you all having me on here.

 

Alicia:

Yeah, I appreciate knowing you for all these years. You have been a good individual.

 

Dickey:

Thank you.

 

Alicia:

I send you blessings and love to you and your family. I never met your wife, but you tell her she got a good one.

 

Dickey:

I will.

 

Alicia:

[crosstalk 00:44:43].

 

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Thank you for joining us on the Soul of a Leader podcast. We are igniting a new way of leading with your soul and interviewing ordinary people with extraordinary impact. Thank you for listening to the stories of our leaders who will help and guide you on your leadership journey. For more information on our podcast, please visit our website at www.soulofaleader.com. Thank you for listening.

 

With Dr. Eileen & Dr. Alicia

Conversations with ordinary people, with extraordinary impact on strategies, success stories, spirituality and leadership.

With Dr. Eileen & Dr. Alicia

Conversations with ordinary people, with extraordinary impact on strategies, success stories, spirituality and leadership.